CaNt L0v3 U, W0nt L0v3 U
by StillBreathin
Summary: THis is what would have happened if Lissa hadnt healed Rose, after the car accident! Rose just woke up from a 5y coma, she woke up wrong; not herself, too cold, too withdraw! Dimitri just want to do his job, but his curiosity brings him closer to the dark
1. Chapter 1

So this story came to me when I was doing my hair, weird I know! So enjoy, and tell me if you like it!! I DONT OWN, SO DONT SUE!8D

Summary: What if when Rose and Lissa had the accident Lissa couldn't completely cured Rose of all her injuries? Andre died, Lissa survived, Rose? She like always was the exception of the rule and died? maybe survived? but who knows, she certainly doesn't cause she is in a coma! This takes place like in the second book, don't know but Dimitri is there and isn't that just dandy! I wanted to make Rose as cold and calculating as possible without making her lose her sassy-ness, let see if i can! This is gonna be AU, and OOC so prepare for one wild ride.

*

_I see you lying next to me,_

_With words I thought I'd never speak_

_Awake and Unafraid,_

_Asleep or Dead? -_ My Chemical Romance

In a world where you are alone, to whom you turn when life is difficult{_as if it never was_} when you dreams turn into nightmares{_they always have been_} and you find yourself in utter solitude{_and what else is new_}

Nothing works, nothing is yours(_not your life, your thoughts, or even love) _everything is corrupted, displace, a waste of time(_a waste of breath_) and you just want to leave, just leave, and would do anything to escape that world, that black hole.. anything to escape..  
_Anything..._

_Anything..._

_just want to escape.. disappear..anything..to just feel alive again..anything_

It is Wednesday again or maybe Friday, and she's not sure. Her head swims in a white hot lake of pain and sometimes in a black ocean of obliviousness, her body is trap to something_{it doesn't let her move_}, and her lips feel{_are}_ like they are made of an iron clasp. Its been a month, maybe a year or two{_but she's sure it just not have been days or even weeks,}_ her throat feels like sandpaper and her lips are made from that material too{_weren't they of iron? She's not sure, she doesn't care}  
_

Sometimes she can hear humming in the place she's in, other times not so. Sometimes she imagine feeling her fingers move, her eye twitch, her breathing matching the one of the person next to her{_but she's imagining, dreaming, or maybe even hoping}_ but not seconds after she realizes, like a bucket of freezing water being drop on her, that's she's imagining,  
dreaming, maybe even hoping 'cause she's trap, has been trap, and will always be trap.

Once again the white hot pain in her head takes over and soon she's swimming along not against the current, and everything is alright, everything is black, everything blends together with the white hot pain and slowly becomes obliviousness.

-

_Beep, beep, beeeep, beeeeeeep, beep, beeeeeeeeep, beep, beeeeeep..._

Suddenly she emerges from the black ocean of obliviousness her life has been for the past... Months? Years? Decades_?{she is not sure but this time she does care_} apparently her captives decided to torture her this... Morning? Night? Not sure but she cares{_too much if you ask her, she been here long enough to adapt and not care}_ those beeping noises hurt her eardrums, make her heart go erratic and her captures are moving too much, touching her too much, moving her body too much.

And all that's happening is too much, her breathing that used to be calm and even, is coming short and in loud gasps{_this time she can hear clearly, but she doesn't want to, doesn't liked it, it hurts too much to hear herself die_} her immobile body arches it self from whatever she's trap to and it hurts, she can hear the voice of a sweet woman go strong,sharp{_afraid?}_

"_I'm not losing her.... charged...again_" and with that her body is once again meets a sharp electricity that threatens to break her apart

_Beep, beep, beeeeep, beep, beeeeeeep_

"Come on Rose don't leave us" the strong voice is now pleading{_begging?At her? With her?}_ but she's once again attempting to swim along with the current, just letting herself go...

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep_

Just go....

_Be...ep_

_____

_So there it is, just a little taste, tell me if you like it!!!!_


	2. HurtAndre

_I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again  
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there-Christina Aguilera  
_

She's been awake(_shes dreaming_) for two days, watching people come and go, they ask her if shes OK(_how can she?)_ if she needs anything(_everything?)_ if she comfortable_(no shes not)._ Her body feels fragile(_she vaguely remembers never being_ **that!**) her mind is... she doesn't remember the word but when she hears it, it makes shivers run down her spine_(shes scare_) and they repeat it too much, too often. She realizes that she has never like needles, they are too sharp_(they help her? How? She wants to scream)_and when she sees them her world turns around, upside-down, and the black sea of obliviousness approaches at a fast pace, too fast and it sweeps her off her feet and she's lost(_and she can only scream **no **but nobody comes to help.)_

The doctors all smile down at her, happy to se her awake. They tell her she's been miss, that they have long to hear her speak. She smiles, and nods just to play along(_doesnt want to disspaoint) _Dr. Rodriguez is a Romanian girl, 30 to 34 years old, maybe 5'4 foot tall, redish-brown hair that reminds her of someone, smile that is full of light. She reads to her and tells her jokes. She was the one who didnt want to let go( _she can still hear her pleading as her body shakes with the electricity) _the first time she speaks is to curtly said"_Your last name is Spanish_" Dr. Rodriguez nods and explains she's adopted, that she lost her family and little sister "_I couldnt see you go the same way. You have a resemblence to her" _and she nods_(as if she understands) _

She eats, and sleeps in a timely partern. Looks at the television with blank eyes, stares out of the window with midly interest, hums a song she cannot name. She's lost in the white space of her room, numb on the hardness of the bed, asphyxiatin on her own life.

She wants to escape... _Andre _is whisper in a far corner of her mind and her body suddenly reacts. Tears get out of their confine, her heart beats widly, her breathing is erracting but she fights for control_(the only type she has)_ and buries her face in the pillow, breathing control, tears stop, sleep comes in the way of her reing of control.

The first time someone enters the room(_without a white coat)_ she tenses and her body screams at her to make a run for the door_(the window),_ the guy is intimidating(_hot too?)_ at least 6 foot, and with a posture that screams at you to pay attention_(and she immediately hardens her face, eyes go cold)_he steps aside, walks to a corner and suddenly becomes invisible_(and her body is pleading with her to make a run for the window)_ but then a woman_(girl is more like it)_ enter the room. Pale blond hair, paler complexion, jade-green eyes full of tears, and she is running to the bed arms open wide.

In the bed she goes tense _(if possible. Her body feels like it might snap any minute now)_while in the embrace of the stranger, looks for ways to neutralize the immediate threat before the body guard can react, and then the sweet voice fills her head."Rose" her name and is strange to hear it coming form the lips of someone who isn't wearing white(_the happiness, and guilt that fill it might had help)_ and she relaxes_(she still can run)_ lets the sobs(_they tear her heart apart)_ of the girl in her arms lure her to sleep(_restless sleep. Full of wariness, she doesn't want to stay stuck in between. Not again)._

_-_

Hours later she _(re)_learns that the girl that cries lured her to sleep name is Lissa, her best-friend, her charge.

Learns that she missed graduation_(that's why body guard is there)_

...That she almost died, too many times to count.

And that Andre died.

And memories rush into her head, cries fill the room, tears run down her cheeks.

_"I Love you Marie"a giggle follows the confession. lips fused together._

_"You're going to marry me" A promise. A flash of pearly whites. Blood rushing to already rosy cheeks. A kiss on his lips. An _'I love you' _murmured during sleep._

_'Lissa, stop it" His arms around slim waist. face buried into his neck// "Andre and Rose sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..._

_"Andre!" his name being called in ecstasy, his fangs gleam across her neck, into her veins._

"No, please no" her body trashes about, her cries _(for help? him?)_feel the room and the nurses rush in, tears are running wildly down her face, she cant breathe, she's choking in her on saliva. The guy crosses room in three powerful strides and is by her side, scooping her in his strong embrace and she's too lost in her on pain to protest, to see the pity in his eyes(_in everybody eyes)_ and she continues to scream for a love long lost.

For Andre.

Hoping to be swept in the embrace of white hot pain and black obliviousness.

_"I love you Andre" she whispered as he fangs sink into her veins._

_-_

_Thanks for all of you who review!_


	3. Catch Me While I'm Sleeping

_And why, why, why are you constantly believing that I, I? _

_I could ever give you what you needed _

_Baby, baby please never put your faith in me _

_I don't know what to say _

_'Cause is all a dream to me anyways- P!nK_

Is been a month since she woke up _(it feel like ages, days pass too slowly, memories come back)_, now she can walk and talk, fight and run (_she finds out the hard way to take things slowly)_ to bath herself and dress without help, now she can be alone_ (she likes it that way)_

They have move her from the ICU _(she almost wept from joy_) to a regular room; so white and vague, with no personality, no trace someone ever slept in it, so much like her life. The room doesn't have the 'perfect' view _(but nothing is perfect in her life so what did she expect)_ but she doesn't even looks outside (too trap in her own mind)

Lissa and bodyguard _(Dimitri Beli-no se que)_ visit every day, a word from the outside world comes with them. Greetings from old professors _(people she clearly remembers hated her), 'how you do'_s from some old friends _(she never did like them, anyway), _a lot of '_hope you get soon's_ from people doesn't even know _(doesn't care to remember them either_), an '_I'll see you soon'_ from her wayward mother _(it sometimes makes her cry)_

And Rose smiles (_she does her part),_ big _(so forced)_ and bright _(opaque), _wide_ (it hurts)_ and oh-so perfect_ (so fucking fake),_ so unreal _(a grimace),_ so much perfection _(she's everything but perfect)_ so unmoving that sometimes she doesn't even want to try, but she does because her memories have come back…

_They come first…_

_Their feelings, their safety, their happiness, they COME First…_

_You don't matter…._

_They come first…_

So she pretends to be fine, and so A-ok…

-

"So, how are you?" awkward conversations seem to fill her days, unusual chatter that she wants to keep at bay.

"Better than yesterday" is Rose usual response, she tries to keep from rolling her eyes _(she fails)_

"That's good! Guess what?" Lissa's voice is so excited that it tickles her insides _(and so not in a good way)_

"What" Rose says monotonously, and slowly sees as her 'best-friend's' _(she still has doubts)_ smile crumbles, leaving no trace behind. A sigh escapes her lips, she has a right to be bitchy, dammed _(and she is not afraid to use it) _

"Dr. Rodriguez says that you can be discharge in a couple of days! You'll only have to come back twice a week for your physical therapy!" that makes her insides jump from ecstasy, makes her want to smile, to almost want to leap from joy _(Free! Free! A voice inside her says)_

"That's great, Liss" a sincere smile, the first one in a while.

"Yeah, isn't? I have missed you so much, and a lot of things have changed, the clothes, the streets, the way people talk! We even say things like 'ain't' and the shoes, you are gonna love the shoes…" her mind automatically tunes the annoying chatter down, her brain distracts itself with looking around the bare, oh-so boring room, so practical it makes her head ache: white, white, white, white _(what is it with hospitals and white anyway) _white, more white, Dimitri rolling his eyes, white, white-ish, whit-wait, what?

Her eyes in their own volition snap back to his and they harden at his disapproving glare. An eyebrow arches itself, a '_what_' expression in her face.

He only shakes his head.

-

_Thanks to everyone who has review and will review! Question: I have two new stories, both AU and human, both different, both D/R, tell would you like me to publish 'em?_


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